Spoken To....Will I Listen?

It's Sunday and I go to church as I always do.  In the morning and then again in the evening.  Even though I went to 2 different churches the heart of both of the messages was the same.  It was time to give up trying to control something that was not mine to control.  As I pondered the Lord brought my precious son Jean-Luke to my mind.  It was time to give him up to the Lord to do that which he deemed necessary to do.  I went home deep in thought and prayer and gave my son up to the Lord.  I had no idea what this would look like but I did not worry about that part.  The most revealing part of this process was just letting go and letting God.  I had a peace that no words can explain.  Even at that time you do not really know what all this will entail.  All you can know is that God is in control and his word is true.  My favorite scripture again fits perfectly into this scenario.  " For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11.  Since the sudden home going of my husband this has been my life verse and again it fills my heart with peace.  I did not know at that time what the plan would hold but I did not have to.  Thankfully!!!

Start Looking for a Program

Words that you do not really want to hear from your child's therapist.  When you first hear it you want to look around to see is someone behind me cause you can't be talking to me.  But then you think again and you know they are talking to you.  Now what are you going to do? So I muster the words "Can you find me some referrals or suggestions?"  Of course the answer is yes because when you have a good therapist they are not just there for you for the 55 minute session but they are there for you in many other ways. 

So a few days later I get an email with a couple names of programs and I head out on yet another adventure that will be steeped in research, phone calls, google searches, etc.  You have to tell your heartbreaking story over and over again until you just need a break to regain the momentum tell it maybe just 1 more time.  Or maybe so many times you can't even keep track. 

Reality starts to set in that you are not just researching a Wilderness Program for you child but in fact you will be sending your child to a Wilderness Program.  This is not summer camp or a vacation.  Your child most likely will be taken by surprise because there have been many threats to runaway so you don't want to chance that path.  If you are blessed to have a child that is actually in agreement that they need this kind of intervention than you take them on your own.  Either way they go it is still filled with pain, fear, guilt, confusion, second thoughts, panic and a plethora of other emotions.  But once you have swallowed all those you know deep down you made a decision that might have saved their life.  It puts all you feel in perspective.  For the moment!!